It came at the perfect time for me to make it a habit. Around a year ago when I started I was a freshman in college. We all know how that goes. Too much stress, too many distractions, and not enough sleep. College costs a lot of money, but they offer a lot of services that many don’t know about. Small group meditation sessions were one of those services. At the time I was room mates with my best friend of 7 years. It was one of the rarer moments where we didn’t try new things together. I was nervous to be on my own, but that’s because I generally did not like being alone. I might as well be alone if I’m around strangers. That’s how I felt, anyway.
There wasn’t anything unique about the environment. The room was small and dimly lit with cushions to sit on. Other than myself, there were five other people with me, including the instructor. She was nice enough. Young, she had moved to Atlanta from up north a few years ago. Meditation had helped her a lot with her stress. The results sounded amazing and the effort required seemed minimal. What’s not to like? I know I’m selling this like a magic weight loss pill, but that’s only because I didn’t know any better. I relaxed my body, listened to her voice with my eyes nearly shut, and boom I was meditating.
“Pay close attention to your body. How does it feel?”
Sitting there in silence and listening to her words made me realize a lot of unnerving things about my body. I felt hot and uncomfortable even though the room was cool. My hair tickled the tips of my ears more than ever, and my tongue couldn’t seem to rest properly in my mouth. It was too much. I had to snap myself out of it to refocus and when I got back in the zone I fell asleep…
That one experience with meditation changed my life, because it opened me up to a world of sensitivity I had never felt before. We’re so busy with our lives we truly don’t listen to our bodies, even when we think we do. When we feel pain we take over-the-counter medicines, eat something we like, or sleep. Some of us may stretch, but not many. Stress is the cause of so much pain in all honesty. After meditating for a month I realized that stress made my chest feel tight and my lower back hurt. They were palpable orbs of pressure within my muscles and bones. It was an amazing realization. There was so much power to be found by simply sitting, breathing, and being.
Now over a year later I meditate almost every day and it’s taken me so far. Meditation has allowed me to not only hear my body, but to also hear my mind, heart, and soul. Meditation has allowed me to speak to myself uninterrupted and listen without distractions. Being alone with yourself like that is scary for some, but that is because of the vulnerability it makes you feel. With shut eyes and still limbs, meditation renders a person blind and immobile. Yet it is the darkness and stillness that allows us to see the light and move forward with astounding precision.
Sitting, Breathing, and Being are my new Holy Trinity.
